Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
