Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
look no pants
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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