That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
