Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
