I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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