i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
