she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
