I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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