Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
