But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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