NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
