they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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