3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
