Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
