it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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