He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
