I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
