Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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