do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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