I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
