so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
