Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
