I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
