Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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