i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
