the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Everything about him screamed your future.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
