You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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