I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
