I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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