just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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