I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
