ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
