Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
