Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
