i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
