what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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