Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize