We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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