no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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