Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
