is your mom at the bar?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
