WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
please come you make the beer taste better
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
