READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
