Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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