hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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