Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
