that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
