somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
