Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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