My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
