Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
