ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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