now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
