I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
