just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
