Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
