we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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