I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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