apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
