Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
