You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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