I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
