you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
