Don't you send me to vm
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I met the friendliest cop last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
