We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
