Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
